Breast Cancer Logo - TYFTS Breast Cancer Podcast

Season 2 Finale - What It Feels Like To Have New Foobs
(reconstruction breast surgery)

Rosalina and Shauna both decided to go with breast implants reconstruction after radiation. In this episode, share their feelings and experiences of their reconstruction breast surgery. They discuss how they are healing post-surgery, what they found helpful during recovery, and their thoughts and expectations about the final results. While Shauna is loving her new implants, Rosalina is still getting used to them.

Resources

Transcript

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Hey, Too Young for the Shit listeners, it’s Shauna and we’re on our season two finale.

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Thank you so much for all of your support.

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We need your feedback though.

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Please take five minutes of your day to complete our end of season two survey.

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Your feedback is important and will allow us to improve future podcast episodes for

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our listeners.

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The survey link is in our show notes.

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Thank you and enjoy the final episode of season two.

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Hi everyone.

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Welcome to season two.

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This is Shauna and this is Rosalina and we’re your hosts for Too Young for the Shit podcast.

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This podcast is not just about boobs, but our journey with cancer.

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We are young millennials open about giving you our raw and unfiltered look into our lives.

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We are in no way medical professionals, nor are we offering medical advice.

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Any medical references are cited directly from public websites or form our personal

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diagnosis.

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Some topics and stories may be triggering to those who are fighting, have fought or

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have loved someone with cancer.

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Hey everyone, it’s Rosalina.

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And this is Shauna.

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Welcome back to the Too Young for the Shit podcast.

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This is our season finale, the last episode that we’ll be recording for season two.

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Super exciting.

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I feel like we’ve been working on season two for the past six months.

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Yes, it has been that long.

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It’s been six months.

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We did give ourselves some time.

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We had finished treatment and just kind of I think needed a breather and then wanted

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to plan.

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We both had things going on and I’m kind of happy it ended up this way because then we

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were able to cover our surgeries and now our recovery.

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So it did end up working out, but it was a long six months.

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Yeah.

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Hopefully you’re not sick of me, Shauna.

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I hope you’re not sick of me.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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I mean, it’s also crazy to think like, you know, it was like this time last year that

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we started recording like season one.

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Yes.

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It’s been like a year.

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Happy anniversary.

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Yes.

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Happy anniversary to you too.

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To the birth of this podcast, actually.

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Shauna, let’s get into the day before or the day of your surgery.

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Like how were you feeling?

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I was so excited.

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I wasn’t nervous.

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I was like, I don’t think I’ve ever been like so excited for surgery ever.

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I also like, to be honest, I love anesthesia.

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I love it so much.

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I had an endoscopy today and had got to get put under and I was like pumped for it.

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I just, I don’t know what is wrong with me.

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It’s just like, it’s like the best sleep ever and I don’t sleep well.

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So it’s like, I look forward to it.

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I was just going to say that you probably feel like you are sleeping well or like a

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little bit more when you’re under than on a regular basis.

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Absolutely.

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So yeah, I mean, it was, I felt like prepared.

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I felt just kind of like ready to get it over with.

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Like I just wanted the expanders out.

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I think I just wanted the box, the last surgery box checked off too.

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Like I, you know, I had posted on Instagram, like this is the last box I needed checked

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off of my reconstruction journey.

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And not to say like, you know, there’s going to be a revision surgery in my future, but

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just like having my implants in for me was just like the end, the end of the road.

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It’s something I look forward to for over a year.

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So I went in like super prepared, ready to go.

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I felt confident with my plastic surgeon.

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You know, everyone in the support groups also say like, it just like instantly feels better

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when you’re done, like, you know, when you get your expanders out and you have your implants

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in.

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I was like looking forward to the end of that.

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I mean, my expander was so overly filled and so just like tight and you know, on my radiated

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side and just like, I was ready to get that thing out.

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Like, and it’s funny because you do get so used to it.

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I didn’t realize how like uncomfortable that was.

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I think I was just so used to it that it was just normal.

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But like when it came out, I was like, oh my God, it was like instant relief.

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I also got used to my expander as well.

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Yeah.

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I mean, you had that thing on for like a year ago.

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Yeah, mine was a year and two months.

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Yeah.

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Like I went in, in a really like good mood.

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I was like for surgery of the day.

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So I think like, I don’t know how people do like surgery and then have it in the afternoon

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and have to think about it from the moment you wake up.

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I know.

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And then they’re not ridiculous.

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And then they’re not eating because that’s really hard.

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Like I had this endoscopy today as at 2 30.

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I didn’t get to eat something until 4 p.m. today.

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And I was, I was like, I woke up, I was like Oreos and apple juice.

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Like that was the first thing.

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Yeah, I went in.

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Yeah.

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My first thing I think we had to be there at like six.

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I think I was like in surgery by 730.

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Again, had to walk myself into my own operating room because NYU just like let’s fucking do

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it like will make you hard.

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Like I find that to be weird.

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Put yourself on your own table.

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You know, it’s like, I don’t know.

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It’s like, I guess I don’t own my own weird way of like being in control, too.

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I’m fine with it.

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So I like the table.

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And then of course, I am like, I tell your story.

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I’m like getting hooked up.

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I’m like into the end of physiology.

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And I’m like, so I have a friend in L.A. who got who got had her surgery at UCLA and they

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gave her essential oils before her surgery.

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And I’m like telling them the story.

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And I’m like, and here I am having to walk myself on like into my own operating room,

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putting myself on the table.

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I here’s my essential oils.

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And again, like my operating room was like laughing.

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And like they also the same thing.

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They’re like, yeah, that’s like such a California thing.

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Like they were even like, yeah, no, we don’t do that here in New York.

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So it was just like really funny.

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And then that’s like kind of the last thing I remember is like all of us laughing and

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like being ready.

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I woke up.

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I don’t think that I was in recovery that long.

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And Matt was able to just like get me in the car and like we got home.

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And I remember getting in the car and being like, they are so small.

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Like I lost it.

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I had like a meltdown on the way home because I was able to like look at my chest through

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my bra.

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And I was like, this is like not the size that I thought it was going to be like losing

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it.

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Right.

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And meanwhile, like I am also swollen too.

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So in my head, I am like, this is how much smaller are these going to get if I’m so swollen.

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So like I am like literally not even home yet from my 15, 20 minute drive from the hospital

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to my apartment.

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And like writing a strongly worded email via my chart about like how unhappy I already am.

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And I was like, stop, like go home.

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I’m going to give it a few days.

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I’m just going to like calm down and curse out my plastic surgeon right now.

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So I went home and I was like just super groggy, kind of like similar how I am today.

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Like I just came home and took a nap.

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And I think I was home by like one or so and just kind of slept on and off all day.

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And I’m not a back sleeper.

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So like that was also difficult like, you know, for the first week.

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But they are also so soft.

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Like I think I texted you and I was like, these are like soft.

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They feel so good and like squishy.

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And like, I think I was just so used to how it over expanded my my one side was that where

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it was like rock hard and how we like could not believe.

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Like I thought that they were going to be like, not saying it’s like a water balloon

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at all, but like I thought it was going to be like a little bit more like solid, I guess.

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But they feel so good and so soft.

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I know when you texted me, I was pretty excited.

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Yeah, to be honest, like that text helped me understand that the process that was about

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to go through is going to be a positive thing for me as well.

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So yeah, definitely.

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I love that you said that text.

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I honestly like I was like thrilled on how they felt like I’m still thrilled on like

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how they feel like I saw my plastic surgeon a week later.

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And they were like really thrilled on like what my results were.

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And like the swelling had gone down and like they definitely looked better than day one.

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I also like had to remember like my skin was being stretched as well.

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Right.

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So that also made it look smaller from the job.

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And I have under the muscle implants, not over the muscle.

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So like I think they just looked really flat when I was on my way home and I needed like

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some time to settle in and like literally every day they look better.

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Like they do.

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I still wish that I was able to go up a size, but like honestly, my plastic surgeon was

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like truly right where I would need a flap surgery in order to go bigger.

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Like my radiated side is about as stretched as it can go.

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She’s like come back in two weeks from after my one week appointment.

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So I went last week and saw them and they’re still like super thrilled with the results.

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But I did mention like my non-cancer side is like a little bit more droopy than my radiated

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side, my cancer side.

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That is because of the skin being as tight as it is.

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So she had mentioned like, you know, that can be fixed with some fat grafting.

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So in my head, I’m like, okay, like I kind of knew that there was there’s going to be

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a revision down the line, but this is a really, really good start.

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She got the symmetry down like perfect.

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That’s good.

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Like they’re like so perfectly symmetrical.

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It’s just my cancer side is just more perkier than the other side.

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So that’s where like the fat grafting will come in.

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I was like thinking like if I did want to go bigger, I can go bigger on my non-radiated

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side.

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I really don’t want to do a flap surgery like at all, but like I’m also at the same time

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like gonna get some second opinions about the same size as I was pre cancer.

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So when I had gone to my three week appointment, she had said like a lot of aqua for on my

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incision.

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You know, she’s like, it’s just very red on my incision.

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She like took a look and she was like, your incision is fully healed.

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She’s like, but so that’s obviously just your radiated skin.

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That’s that’s red.

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And she just said I have to go back next week just to kind of check in.

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I think she just wants to check on my incision, but my incision on my cancer side.

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But other than that, she’s like, they’re really happy with the how I’ve been healing and no

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infections or anything like that.

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Yeah, that’s what you cope for, right?

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Like not to have any issues.

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You and I had spoke yesterday and I had said like, honestly, the most pain that I’ve been

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having is my cancer side where the drains were from my mastectomy and from my lymph

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node removal surgery.

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My plastic surgeon wasn’t able to go in and like clear out that scar tissue because she

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didn’t want to make the pocket too big to where my implant would move.

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And I would have like a big space in between both of my implants.

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Like I said, with the flap, like I don’t want drains again.

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And I also I’m just like, especially now seeing how my skin has reacted to the implant.

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I’m actually scared to have a flap surgery and then just like have my skin not be thrilled

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and then have an infection and just like don’t want to mess with something that’s like not

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giving you issues right now.

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I just don’t want like another big recovery and I don’t want like another like where I

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have to take like major time off.

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Part of me is just like be happy and like maybe let your your radiated side heal for

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a couple years and then revisit it down the line.

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And I don’t know, I’m going back and forth.

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But I feel like right now kind of do want that fat crafting like as soon as I possibly

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can just so that they are like a little bit more the same, you know, up top.

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Like she nailed the symmetry like it’s great.

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I just my non cancer side just like needs a little like it just needs some perkyness

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on top, right?

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Yeah.

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Just like to be a little bit fuller and grant.

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Yeah, I might be able to find a bra that just would sit a little bit to that where I get

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that like projection that I want.

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Right.

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But you know, I’m still in a surgical bras of right now compression bra when the time

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comes and like, you know, like the cellings like a little bit more down and things like

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that.

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But I’m like, I’m going to try again, like try bras and like maybe it won’t bother me.

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Who knows?

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Just for now, just like trying to like just be grateful.

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And you know, I really want to enjoy my summer.

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I really want to swim.

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Like I said, I don’t have to worry about my hair this summer.

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And staying cool and staying out of I mean, I do have to stay out of the sun like, you

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know, I need to protect my skin in general, especially my radiated skin.

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But you know, like I want to be able to go swim.

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00:12:58,120 –> 00:13:02,220

Yeah, at the beach, like I want to be able to like jump in a pool like I want to be able

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to just kind of like have the freedom to enjoy my summer and not be restricted.

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I had two different size expanders last year.

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I didn’t even feel comfortable being in a bathing suit in front of anybody.

246

00:13:12,640 –> 00:13:18,200

So I know now that it’s symmetric, you feel a little bit better wearing a bathing suit.

247

00:13:18,200 –> 00:13:19,200

Exactly.

248

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And then also during surgery, I was able to get my scar revision for my port scar because

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it just never healed correctly because of like a stitch that never dissolved and then

250

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kind of got infected and just like it just looked angry.

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00:13:33,320 –> 00:13:37,480

And like I was actually more self conscious about that than like my lopsided boobs, you

252

00:13:37,480 –> 00:13:39,020

know, in the expanders.

253

00:13:39,020 –> 00:13:41,960

So my plastic surgeon like revised it and it looks beautiful.

254

00:13:41,960 –> 00:13:45,760

I have scar sheets on it now like the silicone scar strips.

255

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I’m taking like really good care of it.

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And I’m hoping that you know, it just, you know, as time goes, like just fades really

257

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nicely.

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Overall, I am happy.

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I think it’s a really great start.

260

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I’m really happy that, you know, I did not have any infections.

261

00:14:01,080 –> 00:14:04,640

I didn’t have any like setbacks as of now.

262

00:14:04,640 –> 00:14:10,040

With the fat graphing though, did you already set that timeline or did you already speak

263

00:14:10,040 –> 00:14:14,160

to your plastic surgeon about doing that small operation?

264

00:14:14,160 –> 00:14:18,700

I’m going next week and I think they’re going to tell me I have to wait at least three months

265

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for things to settle.

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And so that would bring me to what?

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September timeline.

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Who knows?

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I have a lot of things coming up in the fall, like I have a wedding the beginning of October.

270

00:14:29,280 –> 00:14:32,600

I have a Vegas trip the end of October.

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So I might even.

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Yeah.

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So I might even just try to save it maybe even for like, I can get it done maybe around

274

00:14:39,520 –> 00:14:43,960

Christmas time and then have that Christmas time off to just kind of recover.

275

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For now, just going to let my body heal.

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We had recommended Juven, which is like a wound healing powder, and I talked to my plastic

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00:14:55,360 –> 00:14:58,080

surgeon about it and she said, yeah, like some people do it.

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Some people, you know, like we don’t like not recommended.

279

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It has really good vitamins.

280

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We just tell you to like wait and start doing it after surgery till after surgery.

281

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So you know, you could do it twice a day.

282

00:15:08,560 –> 00:15:09,560

I did it.

283

00:15:09,560 –> 00:15:13,760

I had like had it in a protein shake like once a day and then I took a supplement called

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00:15:13,760 –> 00:15:20,680

wound bite like VIT just to kind of like help my body has a really hard time like dissolving

285

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sutures.

286

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I wish I knew this actually after I’m second, how much like our body needs to recover like

287

00:15:27,440 –> 00:15:32,400

after surgery, after treatment, after anything like I was not aware of this.

288

00:15:32,400 –> 00:15:38,060

So I really made it a point to make sure that I was getting like enough protein during the

289

00:15:38,060 –> 00:15:43,140

day in whatever form I could possibly get it.

290

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And I think it did help.

291

00:15:44,440 –> 00:15:48,520

Like I instead of going back to work two weeks later, like crazy person, they told me not

292

00:15:48,520 –> 00:15:52,800

to lift anything for six weeks and I was lifting a child at two weeks.

293

00:15:52,800 –> 00:15:56,400

I know that’s that’s very bold of you.

294

00:15:56,400 –> 00:15:57,920

I overdid it.

295

00:15:57,920 –> 00:16:01,800

But I also like I think it did help my healing process.

296

00:16:01,800 –> 00:16:05,320

I spent two weeks just like at home, like really not doing much and really trying to

297

00:16:05,320 –> 00:16:11,520

like let my body rest and heal and doing what I could to just like take care of myself.

298

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So I think it really did help.

299

00:16:14,040 –> 00:16:18,400

So but obviously for anybody that like is looking for a supplement like that, obviously

300

00:16:18,400 –> 00:16:22,480

check with your, you know, surgeons and doctors and things like that.

301

00:16:22,480 –> 00:16:23,480

I did.

302

00:16:23,480 –> 00:16:26,600

I did ask and they gave me the idea to do it.

303

00:16:26,600 –> 00:16:35,620

I think for me, like with my process, the week before my surgery, I tried to exercise

304

00:16:35,620 –> 00:16:37,200

as much as I could.

305

00:16:37,200 –> 00:16:43,560

I think maybe I just did it like three times in a week before my surgery day.

306

00:16:43,560 –> 00:16:51,000

And I was just trying to get my body just prepared for the big day and then also eating

307

00:16:51,000 –> 00:16:52,640

well.

308

00:16:52,640 –> 00:17:02,040

What surprises me and maybe this is just due to the doctors, maybe they don’t want to mention

309

00:17:02,040 –> 00:17:08,080

to their patients on what they should eat and like what they should do before surgery.

310

00:17:08,080 –> 00:17:13,360

But obviously like they mentioned, you know, you can’t take any supplements two weeks before

311

00:17:13,360 –> 00:17:16,000

and like make sure you’re not smoking and

312

00:17:16,000 –> 00:17:22,200

I’d say like, no, like what NSAIDs like you can’t take like ibuprofen, you can’t take

313

00:17:22,200 –> 00:17:23,880

naproxen or anything like that.

314

00:17:23,880 –> 00:17:26,800

They have like a whole list, like no vitamin E, I think for two weeks.

315

00:17:26,800 –> 00:17:28,680

Yes, yes, exactly.

316

00:17:28,680 –> 00:17:37,040

That’s like the cadence and that could definitely affect your surgery and how you’re feeling.

317

00:17:37,040 –> 00:17:44,980

But I guess I’m surprised that they don’t put out like wishlist, I guess, or optional

318

00:17:44,980 –> 00:17:49,280

things that you can do in order to prepare your body.

319

00:17:49,280 –> 00:17:57,120

Because I was reading online and I was like wondering, okay, do people do anything pre-surgery?

320

00:17:57,120 –> 00:18:02,560

And yes, like there are things that you can do to pump up your body, make sure that it’s

321

00:18:02,560 –> 00:18:07,920

well nourished with like, heal well, I guess, after your surgery.

322

00:18:07,920 –> 00:18:14,320

So trying to make sure that I was eating clean for the past like two weeks before surgery

323

00:18:14,320 –> 00:18:18,600

and also exercise as much as I could.

324

00:18:18,600 –> 00:18:21,680

What was your like headspace going into it?

325

00:18:21,680 –> 00:18:27,960

You know, we had kind of discussed it in our pre-surgery episode, but you were kind of

326

00:18:27,960 –> 00:18:28,960

struggling.

327

00:18:28,960 –> 00:18:34,640

After I cried for the past like three to four weeks, I guess I was trying to keep myself

328

00:18:34,640 –> 00:18:41,480

in a different headspace, meaning like I was trying to keep myself less anxious.

329

00:18:41,480 –> 00:18:51,520

I was doing a lot of self-care and I was trying to switch my mindset of like, you did all

330

00:18:51,520 –> 00:18:58,160

the possible things that you could have done, the research, making sure that like the procedure

331

00:18:58,160 –> 00:19:05,680

that you’re doing will be right for you, the type of implants and all those things.

332

00:19:05,680 –> 00:19:12,640

I was just telling myself I did the best that I could and I tried to make sure that I chose

333

00:19:12,640 –> 00:19:15,520

the right path for myself.

334

00:19:15,520 –> 00:19:23,160

So that’s what put me in a different mindset and where I was no longer nervous, I was just

335

00:19:23,160 –> 00:19:26,480

ready to get that over with.

336

00:19:26,480 –> 00:19:29,120

That meaning the surgery.

337

00:19:29,120 –> 00:19:34,640

You know how the hospital calls you like a few days before to make sure like that you

338

00:19:34,640 –> 00:19:40,440

didn’t take any of the supplements and making sure that you know where you’re going for

339

00:19:40,440 –> 00:19:41,720

your surgery date.

340

00:19:41,720 –> 00:19:49,720

And so I actually thought my hospital was in Santa Monica, where I had my surgery last

341

00:19:49,720 –> 00:19:52,400

year, but actually it was in Westwood.

342

00:19:52,400 –> 00:19:57,720

I’m so glad that they called me and said it was going to be in Westwood, which is essentially-

343

00:19:57,720 –> 00:20:00,680

Imagine you get there, show up to the world.

344

00:20:00,680 –> 00:20:05,920

I have a funny story actually, because it wasn’t only me that thought this and I’m going

345

00:20:05,920 –> 00:20:07,420

to get through that.

346

00:20:07,420 –> 00:20:12,480

So Westwood is actually where my plastic surgeon is based out of, so that made sense.

347

00:20:12,480 –> 00:20:19,000

The day of the surgery, Brian and I went to the hospital and we sat in the sitting room

348

00:20:19,000 –> 00:20:25,760

together for about 15 minutes until they called me in and they actually separated us really

349

00:20:25,760 –> 00:20:27,560

quickly.

350

00:20:27,560 –> 00:20:29,400

Also Brian never came back.

351

00:20:29,400 –> 00:20:36,080

A year ago with my surgery, Brian was able to go into my room and talk to me at least

352

00:20:36,080 –> 00:20:37,320

and be with me.

353

00:20:37,320 –> 00:20:38,760

I don’t know what happened.

354

00:20:38,760 –> 00:20:43,280

They just didn’t let him in or I guess he didn’t think he could go in.

355

00:20:43,280 –> 00:20:45,040

I don’t know what was the deal.

356

00:20:45,040 –> 00:20:48,040

So I was by myself.

357

00:20:48,040 –> 00:20:52,960

Matt got to be with me for my surgery up until I walked in and I got to be with me in recovery.

358

00:20:52,960 –> 00:20:53,960

Yeah, see?

359

00:20:53,960 –> 00:20:55,840

No, that wasn’t the case.

360

00:20:55,840 –> 00:21:01,200

So yeah, so Brian didn’t show up.

361

00:21:01,200 –> 00:21:02,560

And then also it was so funny.

362

00:21:02,560 –> 00:21:09,480

So I walk in and I was like, okay, let’s get this shit over with, the guy walks me to my

363

00:21:09,480 –> 00:21:16,760

little room and he gave me a bag and was telling me, oh, these are where your clothes would

364

00:21:16,760 –> 00:21:17,760

be at.

365

00:21:17,760 –> 00:21:18,760

And it’s so funny.

366

00:21:18,760 –> 00:21:27,400

I didn’t see anywhere where he was going to mark that this was the property of Rosalina

367

00:21:27,400 –> 00:21:28,400

Folleve.

368

00:21:28,400 –> 00:21:31,680

So there was a whiteboard in my room.

369

00:21:31,680 –> 00:21:38,240

And so I went towards the whiteboard, grabbed the marker and start writing my name in front

370

00:21:38,240 –> 00:21:39,240

of him.

371

00:21:39,240 –> 00:21:44,560

And he was like, ma’am, we have stickers for you.

372

00:21:44,560 –> 00:21:50,560

And then he showed me my printed name and my date of birth in my head.

373

00:21:50,560 –> 00:21:54,160

I was like, this guy doesn’t even have anything.

374

00:21:54,160 –> 00:21:57,280

Well, also I had my wallet and everything.

375

00:21:57,280 –> 00:22:03,240

I was trying to make sure no one was going to steal my stuff.

376

00:22:03,240 –> 00:22:04,240

Yeah.

377

00:22:04,240 –> 00:22:11,440

They have a tag at the NYU that they give you these awesome bags.

378

00:22:11,440 –> 00:22:12,720

They’re not even plastic.

379

00:22:12,720 –> 00:22:14,600

They’re like fabric bags, I guess.

380

00:22:14,600 –> 00:22:16,760

Yeah, they’re really kind of plastic.

381

00:22:16,760 –> 00:22:18,600

I’ve taken three of them home with me.

382

00:22:18,600 –> 00:22:19,600

Oh, nice.

383

00:22:19,600 –> 00:22:26,240

I feel like NYU is a little bit better than what I’ve experienced.

384

00:22:26,240 –> 00:22:28,280

So I thought that was super funny.

385

00:22:28,280 –> 00:22:36,120

And then basically they told me to take everything out and undress and put the gown on or whatever.

386

00:22:36,120 –> 00:22:38,440

And so I sat on the bed.

387

00:22:38,440 –> 00:22:44,280

And you know how there’s people that are coming to your room asking you questions, asking

388

00:22:44,280 –> 00:22:47,440

you what type of surgery you’re doing.

389

00:22:47,440 –> 00:22:53,840

And there is an anesthesiologist that came over and she was super nice.

390

00:22:53,840 –> 00:22:58,920

I guess I didn’t have the courage to ask her if I was going to do the essential oils.

391

00:22:58,920 –> 00:23:03,320

I immediately thought that that was going to be the process.

392

00:23:03,320 –> 00:23:04,600

So I didn’t even ask.

393

00:23:04,600 –> 00:23:09,360

No, I did not get any essential oils, which I was so bummed about.

394

00:23:09,360 –> 00:23:11,360

I don’t know if I texted you, Shana, that day.

395

00:23:11,360 –> 00:23:12,360

Yeah, you said you didn’t get them.

396

00:23:12,360 –> 00:23:15,360

I didn’t get any essential oils.

397

00:23:15,360 –> 00:23:20,880

Morale must have been really terrible in that room.

398

00:23:20,880 –> 00:23:21,880

Not a good start.

399

00:23:21,880 –> 00:23:23,360

No, not a good start at all.

400

00:23:23,360 –> 00:23:24,880

So I was like, okay, fuck.

401

00:23:24,880 –> 00:23:34,680

So anyway, her partner, who’s the other anesthesiologist came over and she was nice, but I didn’t like

402

00:23:34,680 –> 00:23:36,240

how she approached this.

403

00:23:36,240 –> 00:23:38,320

She was like, hi there.

404

00:23:38,320 –> 00:23:40,720

I know that you’re a veteran in this.

405

00:23:40,720 –> 00:23:43,360

And then in my head I was like, a veteran?

406

00:23:43,360 –> 00:23:48,080

I don’t want to be a veteran in this process.

407

00:23:48,080 –> 00:23:54,520

So I was like, I know what she was trying to do, trying to do small talk, but I was

408

00:23:54,520 –> 00:23:59,280

just seeing right through the bullshit or what I thought it was.

409

00:23:59,280 –> 00:24:03,920

She told me to put my mask down and then to put my tongue out.

410

00:24:03,920 –> 00:24:07,640

And then I was wondering what the fuck is she trying to do?

411

00:24:07,640 –> 00:24:13,560

And then she was asking me to open my mouth even wider and she was trying to look for

412

00:24:13,560 –> 00:24:16,360

any cracks in my teeth.

413

00:24:16,360 –> 00:24:23,160

I guess that they take that into consideration when I’m under.

414

00:24:23,160 –> 00:24:28,000

I don’t know if that happened to you, Shauna, if they asked you to open your mouth.

415

00:24:28,000 –> 00:24:30,000

It didn’t happen to me.

416

00:24:30,000 –> 00:24:31,000

Okay.

417

00:24:31,000 –> 00:24:32,000

Well, yeah.

418

00:24:32,000 –> 00:24:36,440

I had like today in my endoscopy had to open my mouth because they put a camera down it,

419

00:24:36,440 –> 00:24:41,000

but they did not ask me to open my mouth.

420

00:24:41,000 –> 00:24:42,000

Yeah.

421

00:24:42,000 –> 00:24:43,000

It was-

422

00:24:43,000 –> 00:24:44,000

Neither time.

423

00:24:44,000 –> 00:24:49,600

I mean, and that, it didn’t happen to me last year when I had my mastectomy surgery.

424

00:24:49,600 –> 00:24:54,120

So then my plastic surgeon comes and she’s like out of breath and she’s like, I took

425

00:24:54,120 –> 00:25:00,080

the stairs because Westwood, if anyone knows Westwood.

426

00:25:00,080 –> 00:25:05,420

So the elevators in Westwood are such a pain, especially when it is rush hour.

427

00:25:05,420 –> 00:25:09,040

So rush hour is like the morning and the afternoon.

428

00:25:09,040 –> 00:25:11,980

So she took the stairs, which I thought was hilarious.

429

00:25:11,980 –> 00:25:16,200

She came up to me and she was just like drawing on my skin.

430

00:25:16,200 –> 00:25:23,040

And then she was asking me, oh, like who is here with you today or like who do I need

431

00:25:23,040 –> 00:25:30,640

to call like after we’re done with your surgery is like, oh, you know, the same guy that was

432

00:25:30,640 –> 00:25:31,640

with you last year.

433

00:25:31,640 –> 00:25:32,640

And she’s like, oh, Brian.

434

00:25:32,640 –> 00:25:33,640

I was like, yeah.

435

00:25:33,640 –> 00:25:34,640

And then it was so funny.

436

00:25:34,640 –> 00:25:37,760

Like we both just laughed.

437

00:25:37,760 –> 00:25:39,360

I said he never left.

438

00:25:39,360 –> 00:25:42,560

Like it’s the same guy that never left my side.

439

00:25:42,560 –> 00:25:45,320

So I thought that was hilarious.

440

00:25:45,320 –> 00:25:48,480

When Matt and I checked in, they were like, who’s going to be picking you up?

441

00:25:48,480 –> 00:25:51,320

Like we’ll send them text alerts or whatever.

442

00:25:51,320 –> 00:25:56,240

And that’s, you know, Matt’s like giving them the phone number and going to walk away.

443

00:25:56,240 –> 00:25:59,720

And he’s like, when I get that text, I’m just going to be like, sorry, wrong number.

444

00:25:59,720 –> 00:26:05,120

Like as a joke, you know, and I was kind of like, yeah, you can leave me here.

445

00:26:05,120 –> 00:26:06,120

I love this hospital.

446

00:26:06,120 –> 00:26:08,080

I’ll stay here forever.

447

00:26:08,080 –> 00:26:14,520

Then my breast surgeon comes and she’s like relaxed, but she comes over and she’s like,

448

00:26:14,520 –> 00:26:17,120

oh, I thought you were late.

449

00:26:17,120 –> 00:26:18,720

And then I was like, what do you mean?

450

00:26:18,720 –> 00:26:20,720

And she’s like, I was in Santa Monica.

451

00:26:20,720 –> 00:26:27,560

I was in the Santa Monica location and I was wondering where you were.

452

00:26:27,560 –> 00:26:31,520

Mondays are really not her surgery days.

453

00:26:31,520 –> 00:26:34,660

She only was doing this for me.

454

00:26:34,660 –> 00:26:39,520

And usually she’s at the Santa Monica location and not Westwood.

455

00:26:39,520 –> 00:26:42,720

She went to the wrong hospital.

456

00:26:42,720 –> 00:26:46,480

Actually, it is so funny.

457

00:26:46,480 –> 00:26:54,400

I always wondered that because, and I don’t know about your doctors, but like my doctors,

458

00:26:54,400 –> 00:26:59,240

they are at like three different locations in a week.

459

00:26:59,240 –> 00:27:03,640

Like they’re at the Santa Monica, they’re at the Beverly Hills or Westwood.

460

00:27:03,640 –> 00:27:07,800

So I’m like, don’t they get confused which days are going to be where?

461

00:27:07,800 –> 00:27:08,800

And then that confirmed.

462

00:27:08,800 –> 00:27:09,800

Yeah.

463

00:27:09,800 –> 00:27:10,800

Oh my God.

464

00:27:10,800 –> 00:27:13,600

So how far is that between Santa Monica and Westwood?

465

00:27:13,600 –> 00:27:15,120

It was like 15 minutes.

466

00:27:15,120 –> 00:27:16,120

Okay.

467

00:27:16,120 –> 00:27:17,120

So it’s super close.

468

00:27:17,120 –> 00:27:18,120

I know.

469

00:27:18,120 –> 00:27:19,120

I had to delay every surgery.

470

00:27:19,120 –> 00:27:20,120

I know.

471

00:27:20,120 –> 00:27:26,240

When I told this story to my mom, my mom, you know what she said?

472

00:27:26,240 –> 00:27:31,200

She was like, oh, well, I hope she didn’t forget how to do the surgery.

473

00:27:31,200 –> 00:27:36,800

And I’m like, oh my God, like, no, I wasn’t even talked about.

474

00:27:36,800 –> 00:27:38,440

I know, I know.

475

00:27:38,440 –> 00:27:42,040

And then they ask you to like for surgery, like, well, they say like, what are you here

476

00:27:42,040 –> 00:27:43,040

for?

477

00:27:43,040 –> 00:27:46,900

Like they double check to to make sure like the, you know, they know, like they’re not

478

00:27:46,900 –> 00:27:48,760

wheeling you into a surgery.

479

00:27:48,760 –> 00:27:50,360

You don’t get what you came in for.

480

00:27:50,360 –> 00:27:51,360

Yeah.

481

00:27:51,360 –> 00:27:56,000

But then she came to me because we had a conversation explained again, like what she was going to

482

00:27:56,000 –> 00:27:57,000

do.

483

00:27:57,000 –> 00:27:58,000

Yeah.

484

00:27:58,000 –> 00:27:59,000

Yeah.

485

00:27:59,000 –> 00:28:02,600

So I was like, I’m going to go under and then when I woke up, I was actually in pain.

486

00:28:02,600 –> 00:28:05,960

They gave me Oxy right off the bat.

487

00:28:05,960 –> 00:28:10,400

The thing that I thought was so weird and I told you this is Shauna because I was pretty

488

00:28:10,400 –> 00:28:11,400

bad.

489

00:28:11,400 –> 00:28:14,480

They were trying to rush me.

490

00:28:14,480 –> 00:28:18,240

I woke up and then she’s like, how are you feeling?

491

00:28:18,240 –> 00:28:19,240

Blah, blah, blah, whatever.

492

00:28:19,240 –> 00:28:20,440

And then I’m like, oh, I’m in pain.

493

00:28:20,440 –> 00:28:25,040

Then she gave me the Oxy and then she’s like, oh, do you want anything to drink or eat?

494

00:28:25,040 –> 00:28:26,480

And then I’m like, yeah, sure.

495

00:28:26,480 –> 00:28:28,820

Which I never eat at the hospital.

496

00:28:28,820 –> 00:28:34,240

But I would gladly drink water or apple juice or whatever they have.

497

00:28:34,240 –> 00:28:38,520

After I was done, which was like two minutes, she’s like, okay, let’s put your clothes on.

498

00:28:38,520 –> 00:28:39,520

And I’m like, oh my God.

499

00:28:39,520 –> 00:28:42,600

In my head, I was like, holy shit.

500

00:28:42,600 –> 00:28:43,600

Yeah.

501

00:28:43,600 –> 00:28:47,720

Where was the surgery or mastectomy when you were like, get me the fuck out of here?

502

00:28:47,720 –> 00:28:48,720

Where was this thing?

503

00:28:48,720 –> 00:28:49,720

I know.

504

00:28:49,720 –> 00:28:50,720

I know.

505

00:28:50,720 –> 00:28:53,120

I didn’t want to leave in 30 minutes.

506

00:28:53,120 –> 00:28:54,380

Give me an hour.

507

00:28:54,380 –> 00:28:56,120

I need to still process.

508

00:28:56,120 –> 00:28:57,120

You want in a moment.

509

00:28:57,120 –> 00:28:58,120

Yeah.

510

00:28:58,120 –> 00:28:59,120

I’m like an anesthesiologist.

511

00:28:59,120 –> 00:29:03,520

I’m literally covering my face because she told me this story already.

512

00:29:03,520 –> 00:29:06,940

She put the needle in my hand.

513

00:29:06,940 –> 00:29:09,800

So when I was putting my clothes on, there was nothing attached.

514

00:29:09,800 –> 00:29:13,560

And then I was a little mad that she told me to put my clothes on right away.

515

00:29:13,560 –> 00:29:17,720

And I was like, okay, this bitch is not going to take my IV out.

516

00:29:17,720 –> 00:29:18,720

So I’m going to take it out.

517

00:29:18,720 –> 00:29:23,520

She told me this and I was like, oh my God.

518

00:29:23,520 –> 00:29:24,520

Oh my God.

519

00:29:24,520 –> 00:29:25,520

I know.

520

00:29:25,520 –> 00:29:28,320

I know that she put herself like in your hand.

521

00:29:28,320 –> 00:29:30,880

I wouldn’t even let them put one in my hand.

522

00:29:30,880 –> 00:29:32,320

I don’t let them.

523

00:29:32,320 –> 00:29:34,240

I literally got blood taken last week.

524

00:29:34,240 –> 00:29:36,640

They took it out of my wrist because they couldn’t find a vein.

525

00:29:36,640 –> 00:29:39,160

My wrist right here on my right.

526

00:29:39,160 –> 00:29:41,600

I won’t let them use my hand.

527

00:29:41,600 –> 00:29:43,480

And you went and took your own out.

528

00:29:43,480 –> 00:29:47,520

And I am wanting to crawl out of my own skin right now thinking about it.

529

00:29:47,520 –> 00:29:48,520

It wasn’t bad.

530

00:29:48,520 –> 00:29:49,520

You’re a lunatic.

531

00:29:49,520 –> 00:29:50,520

It was bad.

532

00:29:50,520 –> 00:29:51,520

I know.

533

00:29:51,520 –> 00:29:52,520

I know.

534

00:29:52,520 –> 00:29:54,520

I know that I am.

535

00:29:54,520 –> 00:29:55,520

Yeah.

536

00:29:55,520 –> 00:29:58,360

So then, you know, when I took it out, obviously I was bleeding a little bit.

537

00:29:58,360 –> 00:30:00,880

There was a nurse who came by.

538

00:30:00,880 –> 00:30:02,360

He was like, oh, is everything all right?

539

00:30:02,360 –> 00:30:05,000

I was like, can I get a band-aid?

540

00:30:05,000 –> 00:30:08,280

Because I like to take a tissue and then put it on my hand.

541

00:30:08,280 –> 00:30:12,640

And the other nurse came by and she’s like, oh, you’re not supposed to take your IV out.

542

00:30:12,640 –> 00:30:15,200

Like the doctor is supposed to see you, blah, blah, blah.

543

00:30:15,200 –> 00:30:18,320

Which the doctor never did, first of all.

544

00:30:18,320 –> 00:30:21,000

So I don’t know what the hell she was talking about.

545

00:30:21,000 –> 00:30:25,600

And then she was telling me that she was trying to call Brian to come.

546

00:30:25,600 –> 00:30:29,360

But then she was like, can you call him and tell him he needs to be here?

547

00:30:29,360 –> 00:30:32,560

Like in my head, I was like, what is going on?

548

00:30:32,560 –> 00:30:35,720

Why do they want to kick me out so badly?

549

00:30:35,720 –> 00:30:39,160

So I was very confused.

550

00:30:39,160 –> 00:30:42,000

And did you even have your phone at that point?

551

00:30:42,000 –> 00:30:43,000

They checked your stuff.

552

00:30:43,000 –> 00:30:44,760

Like you can’t bring your phone into surgery.

553

00:30:44,760 –> 00:30:45,760

I didn’t even have my phone.

554

00:30:45,760 –> 00:30:47,760

Well, when I woke up is what I meant.

555

00:30:47,760 –> 00:30:51,160

Like when I woke up, they already had my bag.

556

00:30:51,160 –> 00:30:52,160

Oh, okay.

557

00:30:52,160 –> 00:30:53,160

Yeah.

558

00:30:53,160 –> 00:30:54,160

I didn’t have my bag.

559

00:30:54,160 –> 00:30:55,160

Yeah.

560

00:30:55,160 –> 00:30:56,160

No, they made sure.

561

00:30:56,160 –> 00:30:57,160

Did Brian answer the phone?

562

00:30:57,160 –> 00:30:58,160

He did.

563

00:30:58,160 –> 00:31:02,400

He did answer the phone and he was trying to get there.

564

00:31:02,400 –> 00:31:06,360

Brian was able to be there in like the next 10 minutes.

565

00:31:06,360 –> 00:31:09,160

And so they wheeled me all the way downstairs.

566

00:31:09,160 –> 00:31:15,200

Brian was like, I thought they were calling me because you wanted to leave like last time.

567

00:31:15,200 –> 00:31:17,160

And I was like, no.

568

00:31:17,160 –> 00:31:20,600

They were just trying to rush me out of the hospital.

569

00:31:20,600 –> 00:31:22,720

That’s what they’re trying to do.

570

00:31:22,720 –> 00:31:27,800

But then like when I saw everyone else in their room, like I saw like people having

571

00:31:27,800 –> 00:31:31,720

visitors, I had surgery.

572

00:31:31,720 –> 00:31:34,040

It doesn’t matter what type of surgery I had.

573

00:31:34,040 –> 00:31:39,580

Like I should be able to stay until I feel better.

574

00:31:39,580 –> 00:31:43,680

So I thought that was so bizarre and not a great experience.

575

00:31:43,680 –> 00:31:47,800

So I don’t really like that Westwood Hospital anymore.

576

00:31:47,800 –> 00:31:52,720

I’m not upset anymore, but I was in that week.

577

00:31:52,720 –> 00:31:55,600

So you never saw your plastic surgeon.

578

00:31:55,600 –> 00:31:57,720

So then when did you have your post-op?

579

00:31:57,720 –> 00:32:00,200

I had it for like a week after.

580

00:32:00,200 –> 00:32:01,200

Here was the thing.

581

00:32:01,200 –> 00:32:09,560

I was supposed to see both Dr. Baker, my breast surgeon for the pathology report because remember

582

00:32:09,560 –> 00:32:16,160

in the last episode, she was taking that skin where the positive margin was.

583

00:32:16,160 –> 00:32:19,000

You didn’t get a clean margin for surgery.

584

00:32:19,000 –> 00:32:25,440

We were supposed to have the pathology report by then, but the pathology department was

585

00:32:25,440 –> 00:32:29,800

just from what Dr. Baker told me because she called me, they were like backed up.

586

00:32:29,800 –> 00:32:32,320

Like they, I was like, I never heard this before.

587

00:32:32,320 –> 00:32:35,160

Like a pathology department like being backed up.

588

00:32:35,160 –> 00:32:36,160

Yeah.

589

00:32:36,160 –> 00:32:37,160

Like what does that even mean?

590

00:32:37,160 –> 00:32:38,160

Yeah.

591

00:32:38,160 –> 00:32:41,440

Does that mean that a lot of more people are getting tested?

592

00:32:41,440 –> 00:32:46,360

I don’t know because I just tried to make an appointment for like other, another specialist

593

00:32:46,360 –> 00:32:51,800

for something unrelated, but everyone’s booked out until like October.

594

00:32:51,800 –> 00:32:53,320

I don’t know what’s going on.

595

00:32:53,320 –> 00:32:56,640

I don’t know if like maybe some doctors are also just like taking time off between the

596

00:32:56,640 –> 00:33:01,740

pandemic and like having to catch up from the pandemic that this is like now their time

597

00:33:01,740 –> 00:33:06,780

to be able to like, I don’t know, like back on certain things or like, or if people are

598

00:33:06,780 –> 00:33:10,840

still just playing catch up from the pandemic and just like finally getting in to see all

599

00:33:10,840 –> 00:33:16,640

these doctors and like, who knows, you know, all the things that, you know, I don’t know,

600

00:33:16,640 –> 00:33:19,200

like just people have been put up like putting off.

601

00:33:19,200 –> 00:33:20,200

Yeah.

602

00:33:20,200 –> 00:33:22,040

I’m not sure what’s going on.

603

00:33:22,040 –> 00:33:28,680

So I wasn’t able to see Dr. Baker the week after, but I was able to see Dr. Slack.

604

00:33:28,680 –> 00:33:34,840

And to be honest, when I saw her, I felt that the appointment was really short.

605

00:33:34,840 –> 00:33:38,680

Like she only saw me for like 15 minutes.

606

00:33:38,680 –> 00:33:40,720

My appointment was really short too.

607

00:33:40,720 –> 00:33:42,520

How was the recovery for the first week?

608

00:33:42,520 –> 00:33:46,000

Like were you in a lot of pain, discomfort?

609

00:33:46,000 –> 00:33:48,080

Did you get to see what they looked like?

610

00:33:48,080 –> 00:33:51,680

Were you raging like I was the second I left the hospital?

611

00:33:51,680 –> 00:33:53,480

Like what were you?

612

00:33:53,480 –> 00:33:55,040

Yeah, no.

613

00:33:55,040 –> 00:33:56,040

Yeah.

614

00:33:56,040 –> 00:34:06,920

So I was in pain for about like three days and the pain was more on my right side.

615

00:34:06,920 –> 00:34:14,000

So I had a breast augmentation on the right and they put the smallest implant in there.

616

00:34:14,000 –> 00:34:16,540

It was just a very weird feeling.

617

00:34:16,540 –> 00:34:20,260

I was really swollen on that side.

618

00:34:20,260 –> 00:34:21,740

And it was over the muscle.

619

00:34:21,740 –> 00:34:23,060

It was under the muscle.

620

00:34:23,060 –> 00:34:24,680

So that one is under the muscle.

621

00:34:24,680 –> 00:34:25,680

Okay.

622

00:34:25,680 –> 00:34:28,160

And my left side is over the muscle.

623

00:34:28,160 –> 00:34:29,160

Okay.

624

00:34:29,160 –> 00:34:30,160

Got it.

625

00:34:30,160 –> 00:34:33,480

When I first saw them, they looked symmetrical.

626

00:34:33,480 –> 00:34:35,360

I was very surprised.

627

00:34:35,360 –> 00:34:39,120

And then that confirmed my worry.

628

00:34:39,120 –> 00:34:46,560

Over the past few months and weeks, I was concerned about doing anything to my right

629

00:34:46,560 –> 00:34:51,440

side and I was close to not wanting to do anything.

630

00:34:51,440 –> 00:34:55,360

But my plastic surgeon told me like, if you don’t do anything on the right side, it’s

631

00:34:55,360 –> 00:34:58,080

going to be asymmetrical.

632

00:34:58,080 –> 00:35:06,520

When I saw my boobs for the first time post surgery, I was like, damn, she is right.

633

00:35:06,520 –> 00:35:13,800

So I’m glad that I went to the route of doing something to the right side, even if it was

634

00:35:13,800 –> 00:35:16,720

a small implant.

635

00:35:16,720 –> 00:35:22,760

Brian’s family had a birthday dinner and I was hesitant to go.

636

00:35:22,760 –> 00:35:30,500

Like I wasn’t sure how I felt and then also like only his parents knows about my surgery,

637

00:35:30,500 –> 00:35:33,160

but like his cousins and his aunt and uncle did it.

638

00:35:33,160 –> 00:35:37,560

So my first thought was like, I can’t hug people.

639

00:35:37,560 –> 00:35:39,280

That was the big thing for me.

640

00:35:39,280 –> 00:35:40,920

What am I supposed to do?

641

00:35:40,920 –> 00:35:41,920

Yeah.

642

00:35:41,920 –> 00:35:42,920

Yeah.

643

00:35:42,920 –> 00:35:43,920

Yeah.

644

00:35:43,920 –> 00:35:48,520

We had gone to like a first birthday to see like a lot of our friends that we haven’t

645

00:35:48,520 –> 00:35:50,220

seen in like a while.

646

00:35:50,220 –> 00:35:55,220

And I felt like I had to do that weird like where you stick your butt out and like give

647

00:35:55,220 –> 00:35:57,840

somebody like a hug from afar.

648

00:35:57,840 –> 00:36:02,760

I was just going to say, yes, I did the same exact thing.

649

00:36:02,760 –> 00:36:04,500

A lot of that.

650

00:36:04,500 –> 00:36:08,640

And then granted that was like almost closer to like the two week mark and I was still

651

00:36:08,640 –> 00:36:09,640

scared.

652

00:36:09,640 –> 00:36:12,360

Oh, it was just a few days.

653

00:36:12,360 –> 00:36:13,360

Yeah.

654

00:36:13,360 –> 00:36:18,880

I went and his cousins drove us to the restaurant.

655

00:36:18,880 –> 00:36:27,520

There was this one moment where like he took a really sharp turn and oh my God, my right

656

00:36:27,520 –> 00:36:33,280

side hurt so bad that it was like, holy fuck.

657

00:36:33,280 –> 00:36:38,640

I feel like I can’t even breathe essentially, which I mean I could.

658

00:36:38,640 –> 00:36:44,560

I felt so stiff that I didn’t want to move much because then I felt like it was going

659

00:36:44,560 –> 00:36:45,840

to hurt even more.

660

00:36:45,840 –> 00:36:49,760

I was uncomfortable at the restaurant for the whole night.

661

00:36:49,760 –> 00:36:50,760

Yeah.

662

00:36:50,760 –> 00:36:55,200

Then I got worried because I was like, fuck, like this right side is giving me a little

663

00:36:55,200 –> 00:36:57,160

problems here.

664

00:36:57,160 –> 00:37:02,280

I didn’t want anything to happen, you know, and also the swelling to like, like when I

665

00:37:02,280 –> 00:37:06,640

did too much, like how many days after did you go to that dinner?

666

00:37:06,640 –> 00:37:09,120

It was like five, five days.

667

00:37:09,120 –> 00:37:10,120

Okay.

668

00:37:10,120 –> 00:37:14,000

Well, I went to a concert three days after surgery because I was like, I don’t care if

669

00:37:14,000 –> 00:37:19,620

I’m dying and bleeding out, like I’m going to see the concert at this venue that I wanted

670

00:37:19,620 –> 00:37:20,620

to go to.

671

00:37:20,620 –> 00:37:21,620

And it was Bon Iver.

672

00:37:21,620 –> 00:37:26,480

So it wasn’t like anything wild, but like I was adamant about going.

673

00:37:26,480 –> 00:37:28,080

Thank God, like the weather was perfect.

674

00:37:28,080 –> 00:37:31,440

So I wasn’t super tense, but like I did too much.

675

00:37:31,440 –> 00:37:35,760

I felt swollen after I felt like I had overdone it.

676

00:37:35,760 –> 00:37:38,240

And I don’t know, like I’m still wearing a pillow.

677

00:37:38,240 –> 00:37:41,680

Like now I’m how many weeks post-op right now?

678

00:37:41,680 –> 00:37:43,000

Almost a month.

679

00:37:43,000 –> 00:37:46,280

And I still like driving with a pillow.

680

00:37:46,280 –> 00:37:47,280

I still have a pillow.

681

00:37:47,280 –> 00:37:50,880

I can’t believe that the seatbelt hurts so bad.

682

00:37:50,880 –> 00:37:51,880

Yeah.

683

00:37:51,880 –> 00:37:57,880

You went to a concert and I also went to a concert, but mine was two weeks after.

684

00:37:57,880 –> 00:38:01,480

And you went to like a dance, like yours, you guys were rave.

685

00:38:01,480 –> 00:38:05,080

But it was actually very calm.

686

00:38:05,080 –> 00:38:06,080

Yeah.

687

00:38:06,080 –> 00:38:10,520

Let me just say, it’s not like people were, it didn’t look calm.

688

00:38:10,520 –> 00:38:11,520

No.

689

00:38:11,520 –> 00:38:12,520

It was.

690

00:38:12,520 –> 00:38:16,120

It really was calmer than what you would have thought.

691

00:38:16,120 –> 00:38:17,840

Like a rave would look like.

692

00:38:17,840 –> 00:38:25,520

So Brian and I were like in the crowd, but we were kind of in a section where not a lot

693

00:38:25,520 –> 00:38:27,600

of people coming through.

694

00:38:27,600 –> 00:38:29,680

So that was my only concern.

695

00:38:29,680 –> 00:38:36,480

Every time I would like cross through to like different people around just to get anywhere,

696

00:38:36,480 –> 00:38:45,040

I would have like my arm across my chest so I could protect the chest as all cops.

697

00:38:45,040 –> 00:38:47,560

We had seats, thank God.

698

00:38:47,560 –> 00:38:49,200

But I was super nervous.

699

00:38:49,200 –> 00:38:50,200

I felt really bad.

700

00:38:50,200 –> 00:38:54,920

Like we walked in and it’s an outdoor like amphitheater that we went to and it’s not

701

00:38:54,920 –> 00:38:59,320

big, but getting into it was a little hectic.

702

00:38:59,320 –> 00:39:00,320

And I felt so bad.

703

00:39:00,320 –> 00:39:03,840

Like Matt had a coworker that was there and he introduced me.

704

00:39:03,840 –> 00:39:08,920

And I’m like, I’m also, I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older, like I love concerts, but I’m

705

00:39:08,920 –> 00:39:10,200

not good in crowds.

706

00:39:10,200 –> 00:39:14,440

Like I get super overwhelmed when there’s like a lot of people around me at one time.

707

00:39:14,440 –> 00:39:15,800

Like once I’m there, I’m fine.

708

00:39:15,800 –> 00:39:19,360

But like getting through large crowds, it’s like a panic for me.

709

00:39:19,360 –> 00:39:23,480

So like not only was like I already panicked, but then like I’m like, if somebody bumps

710

00:39:23,480 –> 00:39:26,360

into me, it’s going to ruin my whole night.

711

00:39:26,360 –> 00:39:27,360

And it’s like, I’m going to be hurt.

712

00:39:27,360 –> 00:39:29,020

I’m going to have to leave.

713

00:39:29,020 –> 00:39:34,040

So I was just super anxious about that.

714

00:39:34,040 –> 00:39:39,080

And then Matt introduced me to his coworker and like, I was so just like, oh my God, I

715

00:39:39,080 –> 00:39:40,240

felt like I was so rude.

716

00:39:40,240 –> 00:39:44,240

Like I said to Matt, like, I feel really like I was kind of rude to this girl.

717

00:39:44,240 –> 00:39:45,240

And like, he’s apologized.

718

00:39:45,240 –> 00:39:50,240

Like I was just like kind of really focused on like getting to where I needed to go without

719

00:39:50,240 –> 00:39:51,240

getting hurt.

720

00:39:51,240 –> 00:39:54,320

And like also getting through this crowd without having a panic attack.

721

00:39:54,320 –> 00:39:58,080

I don’t know how you were like, like, like you didn’t have a seat.

722

00:39:58,080 –> 00:40:01,360

I saw that I was like, oh man.

723

00:40:01,360 –> 00:40:02,360

No.

724

00:40:02,360 –> 00:40:03,360

Yeah.

725

00:40:03,360 –> 00:40:07,960

Like I said, like it wasn’t a rowdy crowd.

726

00:40:07,960 –> 00:40:14,760

So I saw Sophie Tucker, if anyone knows who they are, but it was a really great show.

727

00:40:14,760 –> 00:40:20,800

And I’m so glad I kind of went back to my appointment with my plastic surgeon.

728

00:40:20,800 –> 00:40:25,440

I saw her for about 15 minutes and she was really happy with the results.

729

00:40:25,440 –> 00:40:30,640

I felt like I didn’t have enough time to process everything.

730

00:40:30,640 –> 00:40:34,680

Like even though I spent like maybe like 15 minutes with her, I just felt like it was

731

00:40:34,680 –> 00:40:35,880

i just rushed.

732

00:40:35,880 –> 00:40:39,640

I felt I had questions afterwards.

733

00:40:39,640 –> 00:40:44,680

So what I did was I went into my chart and asked all the questions.

734

00:40:44,680 –> 00:40:49,680

The other thing that happened almost three weeks ago.

735

00:40:49,680 –> 00:40:57,600

So I had sutures on both breasts and it got to the point where it was like getting really

736

00:40:57,600 –> 00:40:58,600

irritated.

737

00:40:58,600 –> 00:40:59,600

And it’s so funny.

738

00:40:59,600 –> 00:41:06,480

I told my boyfriend Brian was like, I feel like I’m back at radiation.

739

00:41:06,480 –> 00:41:12,880

Like the feeling of it being super itchy and irritated and agitated and all those things.

740

00:41:12,880 –> 00:41:16,600

Like I just felt like I’m back at radiation.

741

00:41:16,600 –> 00:41:23,080

Brian took a picture where it was like irritated, which was again on the right side where I

742

00:41:23,080 –> 00:41:27,880

had my incision underneath the breast and it looked red.

743

00:41:27,880 –> 00:41:28,880

It looked angry.

744

00:41:28,880 –> 00:41:29,880

So I took a picture.

745

00:41:29,880 –> 00:41:34,360

I sent it to my plastic surgeon and I’m so glad that she responded right away.

746

00:41:34,360 –> 00:41:36,280

She said, yeah, let’s bring you in.

747

00:41:36,280 –> 00:41:39,560

It seems like we just need to cut those things out.

748

00:41:39,560 –> 00:41:40,920

I knew you’d be fine.

749

00:41:40,920 –> 00:41:49,200

Two days after I saw her she was able to cut those out and now I feel so much better.

750

00:41:49,200 –> 00:41:51,000

Let me tell you.

751

00:41:51,000 –> 00:41:56,400

Just overall like with how my breasts are looking, they look great.

752

00:41:56,400 –> 00:42:02,480

The one thing I would say that bothered me just a little bit is, you know, I have one

753

00:42:02,480 –> 00:42:05,960

nipple on my right side and then no nipple on the left.

754

00:42:05,960 –> 00:42:14,200

And so with the right side, like you can tell that it’s a little bit out because obviously

755

00:42:14,200 –> 00:42:16,200

I had a nipple on the right side.

756

00:42:16,200 –> 00:42:19,440

So the left side, it just looks a little bit flatter.

757

00:42:19,440 –> 00:42:24,000

That’s my only thing that I’m kind of iffy about.

758

00:42:24,000 –> 00:42:29,160

But again, it’s not to the point where I’m not happy about it.

759

00:42:29,160 –> 00:42:31,360

It’s just something that I’ve noticed.

760

00:42:31,360 –> 00:42:37,720

But when I was wearing different bras just to see how they look, they looked great.

761

00:42:37,720 –> 00:42:39,280

I’m not going to lie.

762

00:42:39,280 –> 00:42:44,160

We ever discussed whether or not we wanted any type of nipple reconstruction or tattoos

763

00:42:44,160 –> 00:42:45,160

or anything?

764

00:42:45,160 –> 00:42:46,160

Yeah, we did.

765

00:42:46,160 –> 00:42:47,160

Yes.

766

00:42:47,160 –> 00:42:50,120

Yeah, and I told you no.

767

00:42:50,120 –> 00:42:51,280

I don’t want it either.

768

00:42:51,280 –> 00:42:52,720

I’m uninterested in it.

769

00:42:52,720 –> 00:42:57,720

I actually like not having anything because I don’t like wearing a bra.

770

00:42:57,720 –> 00:42:58,720

So that’s fine.

771

00:42:58,720 –> 00:43:04,480

There was like a woman in the breast reconstruction group who got nipple tattoos and then ended

772

00:43:04,480 –> 00:43:09,680

up having to get her implant removed because it got infected.

773

00:43:09,680 –> 00:43:14,480

And now I’m like, I absolutely even if I thought about doing it, that took any and all chance

774

00:43:14,480 –> 00:43:15,880

of me ever doing it now.

775

00:43:15,880 –> 00:43:16,880

I know me too.

776

00:43:16,880 –> 00:43:18,440

I’m not interested.

777

00:43:18,440 –> 00:43:19,440

Yeah.

778

00:43:19,440 –> 00:43:20,440

Okay.

779

00:43:20,440 –> 00:43:25,560

For anybody who is like, you know, it’s just like for my my personal stand, like I just

780

00:43:25,560 –> 00:43:28,040

i don’t want to have to.

781

00:43:28,040 –> 00:43:38,320

I’ve come to terms with how my scars look and being okay with looking at them.

782

00:43:38,320 –> 00:43:48,520

So if I did any like nipple tattooing, I think it would for me, it wouldn’t amplify my feeling

783

00:43:48,520 –> 00:43:52,480

about the situation, like how it should look.

784

00:43:52,480 –> 00:43:53,480

Right.

785

00:43:53,480 –> 00:43:54,920

I guess I agree.

786

00:43:54,920 –> 00:43:55,920

Yeah.

787

00:43:55,920 –> 00:44:01,280

The last thing I actually want to mention, I finally got my pathology report like a week

788

00:44:01,280 –> 00:44:02,280

later.

789

00:44:02,280 –> 00:44:10,080

I wasn’t like nervous per se, but I totally experienced for me ever since I had the positive

790

00:44:10,080 –> 00:44:15,480

margin like then back in my head, I was always like, okay, what if, what if, you know, I

791

00:44:15,480 –> 00:44:18,520

could have a recurrence at any moment.

792

00:44:18,520 –> 00:44:26,480

You were happy with taking the next step into removing the expander and getting implants.

793

00:44:26,480 –> 00:44:34,680

And like, I was still in the position where I’m like, okay, I still have this like reoccurring

794

00:44:34,680 –> 00:44:43,800

thought of if the pathology report comes back that it’s still positive, I don’t know what

795

00:44:43,800 –> 00:44:44,800

I would do it.

796

00:44:44,800 –> 00:44:50,600

So I needed to close that chapter once I got that pathology report.

797

00:44:50,600 –> 00:44:51,600

Yeah.

798

00:44:51,600 –> 00:44:55,880

Dr. Baker messaged me and she’s like, great news.

799

00:44:55,880 –> 00:45:03,680

The pathology report says that the skin was benign.

800

00:45:03,680 –> 00:45:08,000

And I was like, holy fuck, this is like, this is fantastic.

801

00:45:08,000 –> 00:45:11,920

So I, I texted you Sean, I was like, I was so excited.

802

00:45:11,920 –> 00:45:13,280

I was very excited.

803

00:45:13,280 –> 00:45:16,200

I felt like I could close that chapter.

804

00:45:16,200 –> 00:45:17,200

Like that’s what I wanted.

805

00:45:17,200 –> 00:45:22,520

I was in an Uber when you texted that and like, I literally texted you what I said out

806

00:45:22,520 –> 00:45:23,520

loud in the Uber.

807

00:45:23,520 –> 00:45:24,520

I was like, fuck yes.

808

00:45:24,520 –> 00:45:25,520

Yeah, fuck yes.

809

00:45:25,520 –> 00:45:26,520

Yeah, I remember.

810

00:45:26,520 –> 00:45:27,520

Yeah.

811

00:45:27,520 –> 00:45:36,280

Because the other thing was like, you know, I asked my oncologist on my birthday, like,

812

00:45:36,280 –> 00:45:37,600

you know, am I considered NED?

813

00:45:37,600 –> 00:45:39,480

And then she was like, yeah.

814

00:45:39,480 –> 00:45:45,560

But then like me personally, I didn’t feel that that was enough.

815

00:45:45,560 –> 00:45:50,680

Like yes, you can say yes, because you, we did all the treatments that were required.

816

00:45:50,680 –> 00:45:54,560

And also I’m doing this hormonal therapy, but I needed something more.

817

00:45:54,560 –> 00:46:00,040

And of course like that, like going back into surgery and removing that skin was one of

818

00:46:00,040 –> 00:46:01,040

them.

819

00:46:01,040 –> 00:46:09,920

And then I also took the Stignatera test, which detects early recurrence if there’s

820

00:46:09,920 –> 00:46:15,360

any circulating tumor cells that came out negative that there wasn’t anything.

821

00:46:15,360 –> 00:46:20,400

And then also this pathology report saying that the skin was a benign, like that makes

822

00:46:20,400 –> 00:46:23,460

i feel a lot better.

823

00:46:23,460 –> 00:46:29,480

It also made me think about choosing the right care team.

824

00:46:29,480 –> 00:46:39,920

I chose the right treatments and that those treatments that I did like helped me remove

825

00:46:39,920 –> 00:46:42,720

any remaining cancer cells that were in my body.

826

00:46:42,720 –> 00:46:49,360

Yes, I still need to do an annual checkup, making sure that there isn’t any continue

827

00:46:49,360 –> 00:46:56,080

with my hormonal therapy for the next, you know, four and a half years.

828

00:46:56,080 –> 00:47:07,080

But for right now, I feel like I could just relax and not worry as of right now about

829

00:47:07,080 –> 00:47:08,080

recurrence.

830

00:47:08,080 –> 00:47:13,040

I’m so happy that you got the results that we were both hoping for.

831

00:47:13,040 –> 00:47:15,640

And just, yeah, like that closing the book feels great.

832

00:47:15,640 –> 00:47:16,640

Like don’t get me wrong.

833

00:47:16,640 –> 00:47:20,000

There’s things that I think are always going to come up.

834

00:47:20,000 –> 00:47:21,320

I’ve loved season two.

835

00:47:21,320 –> 00:47:23,000

I think we’ve grown so much.

836

00:47:23,000 –> 00:47:26,960

Especially I think we’ve kind of found our groove now again.

837

00:47:26,960 –> 00:47:31,480

Like I feel like season one was such a way of trying to figure it all out.

838

00:47:31,480 –> 00:47:36,640

And I feel like this season, like such a, I don’t know, it’s we’ve found our groove

839

00:47:36,640 –> 00:47:39,560

and like what works for us and how it works.

840

00:47:39,560 –> 00:47:44,720

And I’m even more excited about launching this one than I was about season one.

841

00:47:44,720 –> 00:47:51,560

Season two was very special in the sense that like now, you know, we were out of treatment

842

00:47:51,560 –> 00:47:57,880

and we’re trying to navigate what it is like post cancer.

843

00:47:57,880 –> 00:48:03,840

And obviously we both had our ups and downs throughout this journey and it will still

844

00:48:03,840 –> 00:48:06,280

continue that way.

845

00:48:06,280 –> 00:48:12,460

And again, it was real and in real time, just like it was like kind of recording through

846

00:48:12,460 –> 00:48:14,000

chemo and like that treatment.

847

00:48:14,000 –> 00:48:19,280

Like everything we did was again, like real, like in real time.

848

00:48:19,280 –> 00:48:24,680

And I just think that that is like even us going back to like, listen, I recently have

849

00:48:24,680 –> 00:48:27,280

i went back and listened to a few episodes of season one.

850

00:48:27,280 –> 00:48:34,000

And I’m like, wow, I forgot not for you never really forget, but like I forgot like those

851

00:48:34,000 –> 00:48:39,120

feelings like on that particular chemo day, you know, and I just really lost it.

852

00:48:39,120 –> 00:48:44,680

Or like I look back on season two now and wow, I really had a really rough though.

853

00:48:44,680 –> 00:48:51,440

Like being in the thick of it, you know, you have those feelings and just like, I don’t

854

00:48:51,440 –> 00:48:56,080

know, just I’m going to listen to this again and just be like, wow, you know, like post

855

00:48:56,080 –> 00:48:59,680

treatment really was not kind to me.

856

00:48:59,680 –> 00:49:00,680

Yeah.

857

00:49:00,680 –> 00:49:11,240

I’m also just excited about the future and you know, putting out season three and Sean

858

00:49:11,240 –> 00:49:17,520

and I have so many ideas, so ecstatic to start working on that.

859

00:49:17,520 –> 00:49:21,640

I just want to like touch too on just like the amount of people that have like been reaching

860

00:49:21,640 –> 00:49:26,400

out to us like on social media and you know, emails and things like that.

861

00:49:26,400 –> 00:49:31,600

And we’ve had some like incredible guests this season that I mean have also have been

862

00:49:31,600 –> 00:49:36,040

keeping in touch and reaching out and just like the impact that it has on us is like

863

00:49:36,040 –> 00:49:37,680

beyond.

864

00:49:37,680 –> 00:49:42,200

I also just like love like the relationships that we have now like created with like other

865

00:49:42,200 –> 00:49:46,240

I hate the word influencers like that, like in person, like influencers and like this

866

00:49:46,240 –> 00:49:52,640

breast cancer community, you know, of just like it’s so nice, like, you know, sometimes

867

00:49:52,640 –> 00:49:58,960

female dynamics are not easy, like the easiest and like the amount of support that like everybody

868

00:49:58,960 –> 00:50:04,680

gives, whether it’s like people who are podcasting people who have like their own shows, people

869

00:50:04,680 –> 00:50:10,960

that, you know, have their own platforms and do, you know, educating on similar things

870

00:50:10,960 –> 00:50:15,520

and just like everyone is so supportive and like reposting each other and just like, you

871

00:50:15,520 –> 00:50:17,320

I just love this.

872

00:50:17,320 –> 00:50:21,600

I love I mean, I again, like I always say this isn’t a club I wanted to be a part of,

873

00:50:21,600 –> 00:50:26,080

but this is this community is incredible and I’m so grateful to be a part of it and have

874

00:50:26,080 –> 00:50:31,080

it and, you know, have women feel comfortable enough to like be coming to us and I just,

875

00:50:31,080 –> 00:50:32,080

you know, thank you.

876

00:50:32,080 –> 00:50:36,800

Thank you all for listening and supporting our podcast.

877

00:50:36,800 –> 00:50:42,000

Sharing our stories with you has been incredibly healing for both of us and we hope it helps

878

00:50:42,000 –> 00:50:44,840

other women in their journeys through breast cancer.

879

00:50:44,840 –> 00:50:49,880

Ladies, if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends and fellow breasties.

880

00:50:49,880 –> 00:50:54,640

Help us reach more women by subscribing and rating us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and

881

00:50:54,640 –> 00:50:55,640

now on YouTube.

882

00:50:55,640 –> 00:51:03,880

You can follow us on Instagram at tyftspodcast and email us at tyftspodcast at gmail.com.

883

00:51:03,880 –> 00:51:06,280

We love hearing from you guys so shoot us a message.

884

00:51:06,280 –> 00:51:26,600

We will link any resources from that episode in our show notes.